“No… not me, I am too far gone…”
Have you felt that way, or heard that from someone’s mouth?
God wouldn’t want me.
Only recently I understood why Paul’s history is not completely glossed over but some context is given.
Saul: _Murderer, persecutor, Christian hunter._
We pick up Saul before Jesus renamed him Paul in Acts as a side note in the story of Stephen. He was the young Pharisee holding the coats of the men who stoned Stephen. (Acts 7:58)
“And Saul approved of their killing him.”
(Acts 8:1 NIV)
On that day, the devil thought he had a champion! A Great persecution of those of “the way” of Jesus started in full force!
“But Saul began to destroy the church. Going from house to house, he dragged off both men and women and put them in prison.”
(Acts 8:3 NIV)
Saul (aka Paul) didn’t just instigate. He didn’t sit and plot and scheme in the Sanhedrin, and he didn’t get others to make up stories and lies. He got his hands dirty.
He made it His life’s work to destroy the church of God. The people who professed Jesus. So much hate in one man.
“Meanwhile, Saul was still breathing out murderous threats against the Lord’s disciples.”
(Acts 9:1 NIV)
He cleaned up Jerusalem and then asked for permission to go after those who fled the city to Damascus.
He caused so much fear, so much sadness and anguish, so much pain in so many lives. He was angry and aggressive and arrogant. He killed, had killed and imprisoned the followers of Christ. Dragging people from their houses. He was the Sanhedrin’s attack dog!
“During those days, Saul, full of angry threats and rage, wanted to murder the disciples of the Lord Jesus.”
(Acts 9:1 TPT)
Who can be worse? Whose story can beat Paul’s? What could you have done that is worse? Paul, in the name of God, utterly destroyed lives.
Yet… Jesus loved him… and wouldn’t let him go. Paul was not looking for Christ, so Jesus went after Him. God’s Grace covered even Paul…
and Saul became Paul: Healer, teacher, martyr.
The Paul we have come to know and love. God’s Grace truly is bigger than anything and everything we could have done!
Wherever you find yourself today. God’s love for you is greater than you can imagine. Nothing can separate you from His love!
Give yourself back to God! Allow Him back in your life.
Be blessed this day and be a blessing to those around you!
