I had an interesting discussion with my daughter. It is one of those things that just develop while sitting in each other’s company.
aShe recently became the keeper of a beautiful blue budgie, named “Ocean”, and she has been really good about caring for Ocean, but she is 7 years old, so she definitely needs guidance and oversight. But, my daughter is also very set in knowing what is right, and has a scary natural knowledge about animals and aquatics.
From whence the discussion. How do birds take care of themselves and each other in the wild? Funny enough, it was a very similar discussion we had about Giraffe hunting. If you remove the Apex Predator, you need to take the responsibility of that predator to keep the balance in the habitat.
If you become the keeper of the bird, you need to take over the role of provider, with fresh water, good food and in the right balances. Care, love, peace and exercise… the list goes on.
Which bears a striking resemblance to Paul’s letter to the new believers in Ephesus. Specifically relating to marital relationships.
Paul starts of in Ephesians 5:22
“…For wives, this means being devoted to your husbands like you are tenderly devoted to our Lord…”
(Devoted means: Extremely Loving or Loyal according to the Cambridge Dictionary)
But here’s the thing. Paul made two terrible mistakes in this section…
One: The Greek text doesn’t actually contain the words “supportive” OR “devoted” – it is implied. The text literally says: “Wives, to the own husband [be] as to the Lord” (but let us assume that it meant to be devoted and not be super angry at!)
and Two: (a much bigger oversight) Paul forgot to say “IF SHE IS DEVOTED, Then men do the following…”
…rather, for the next 10 verses, Paul goes on to discuss our role as husbands, regardless of our wive’s position towards us:
- Provide Leadership
- be a Saviour and more importantly a Reviver
- be Devoted
- be Self Sacrificing
- be constantly Cleansing her through the Word of God (Not throwing words at her!)
- Loving
- Caring
- Serving
- and doing it all in Grace, being gracious at all times and in all things
Here is the thing: We are responsible for our part, regardless… and She is responsible for her part.
I have a daughter, and I know how protective I am over her. I believe it is God’s design. My wife is God’s Daughter, and will keep me responsible for her. I joke that if you hurt my little girl, I have a shovel and an alibi. Do you, husband, the one that PROMISED GOD that you will look after HIS DAUGHTER, want to go head-to-head with the creator of galaxies?
Don’t get me wrong, you can bring your distress about His Daughter to God as much as you want… He will listen and help. But you have responsibilities that God expects you to honour.
John Upchurch says the following:
“…You’ll never love your wife more than when you pray for her. Humbling yourself before an all-powerful God and asking Him to do what only He can in her life—that’s a level of intimacy beyond anything the world has to offer. Praying for her makes you realize how much of a treasure she is, the woman God gave you. You’re pouring yourself into her complete physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being…”
