God is awesome. He has been working so softly and gently with me during this time of absolute craziness and since the weekend I have been thinking about something He did. This morning, my son woke up early, and while I was getting ready for work, my son read to me from his kiddie bible. What an awesome blessing by itself!
But here is what God has been whispering to my soul:
There were some very important men in the old testament. Leaders amongst the Israelites. The one’s people trusted, looked up to. They shaped society of the day. They shaped the outlook of people. The people listened to them. They were important, and everybody knew them by sight and by name. Shammua, Shaphat, Igal, Palti, Gaddiel and Gaddi. Then there were Amiel, Sethur, Nabi… and off course Geuel.
These were honorable men… and except for one old testament story about them, they are never mentioned in the bible again… They changed a nation with their words and they, and everyone that followed them were utterly destroyed.
Chosen men, Godly men… but men that decided to speak their own opinion and not God’s Word, not God’s Provision nor God’s Promise.
So here is where I am standing now…
When I am asked, does my answer start with “I think…” or with “God said…”?
And I am ashamed to admit it, but it is time for me to repent, because my opinion and my frustrations and my anger surfaced a lot more than God’s Word and God’s Peace, and God’s Promises.
So God is giving me the choice:
Will I be Shammua and speak about the untouchable people in their fortified cities or will I be Hoshea (the one Moses called Joshua) and speak about the abundance of land and fruit of the place God promised us?
Will I be Gaddiel and tell the people that the land is cursed and devours its residents? Or will I be Caleb that calms the people and proclaim: “We must go up and take possession of it, because we are more than able to do it.” (Numbers 13:30)
Will I just disappear into the crowd and murmur about how good Egypt was for us, and why can’t we just go back? Or will I be Moses, and beg God for His people and remind Him of His promises?
We called out to God to relieve us…. We Called out to God, and God answered, and God gave us a Word… and God gave us a Promise! But it’s not what we expected. It’s not how we wanted it. It is not what we pictured…
“But Joshua, Nun’s son, and Caleb, Jephunneh’s son, from those who had explored the land, tore their clothes and said to the entire Israelite community, “The land we crossed through to explore is an exceptionally good land. If the Lord is pleased with us, he’ll bring us into this land and give it to us. It’s a land that’s full of milk and honey. Only don’t rebel against the Lord and don’t be afraid of the people of the land.”
(Numbers 14:6–9)
I am thoroughly convicted about the words coming out of my mouth… again! And the anger in my heart… Again!!
…and not doing what I was called to do in this time…
Now it’s my choice… Do I step through the door in complete obedience and Faith? Or do I stay in the dark and complain because there is no light?
